ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
