I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
