Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You are the jesus of drinking
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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