did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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