The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
