'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
