The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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