We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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