FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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