Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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