long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
