I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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