She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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