She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Randomize
