I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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