Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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