so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
