why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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