Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
