how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
