Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We left the knife in your bed.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
