He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
