I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Randomize
