i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Where is the hickey?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
