My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
