who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
