he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
