Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
