so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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