How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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