Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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