Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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