physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
