all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
