doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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