All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
