I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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