I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize
