I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
