oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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