The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
