Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
