apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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