I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
