I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
