Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
That accounts for only three of the penises
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
