you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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