We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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