please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
