you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
