He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
