to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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