And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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