I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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